Introspective Insights

Introspective - adj: Examining sensory and perceptual experiences. Insight - n: The capacity to discern the true nature of a situation.

The Afterward


Christmas is over…New Year’s ball is dark…kids are
sleeping.  The hoopla and preparation of
the last several weeks has drawn to a close. 
Every year I look forward to this time of year and when it is here and
gone the inevitable sadness creeps up on me.
 
I thought I was smart this year by resisting the buildup – avoiding the
hype…letting myself believe that it was really just “another day”.  But in my quest to avoid the pain, I almost
missed out on the joy and peace and hope that Christmas brings.

I have a cross stitch with Jesus in the manger that says “Gift
of Love”. 
I stare at it and try to
really absorb the message – try to comprehend what really happened that night
over two thousand years ago.  The truth
is that I don’t really get it – I’m not sure that anyone really does, but we
find glimpses of it when tragedy strikes and we pray and mourn and wish that it
was one of us instead of a child struck down in a senseless act.  We realize that we would sacrifice ourselves
and in that sacrifice offer the ultimate gift of love.  

Christmas…it is just one day…one day that we do silly things
preparing for – cutting down an evergreen and adorning it with lights and
ornaments, sending cards, baking obscene amounts of baked good, filling our
homes with bright lights, candles, and other shiny decorations.  We give gifts to remember that gift that came
to us then.  Yet, the day is gone in a
flash of light.  We see the cookie
crumbs, the lights gone dark, the clutter absent and the stark, cold, white
winter lies before us – icy and quiet. 
Maybe this quiet is time for reflection. 
I can’t quite figure it out…how to grasp sadness and embrace it and
grieve for what has passed by.  But maybe
that is the trouble.  Looking back is so
easy when the pain is fresh and looking forward so hard when the view is misplaced. 

Here is the opportunity to start a new journey…to lay down
what has built us up to this moment and find a fresh perspective.  What if the process of getting to Christmas
was the joy?
  What if each day we could
live in anticipation and gratitude and peace? 
Christmas would be a continuation a fulfillment of that joy – a day set
aside to remember and reflect and comprehend this incomprehensible gift. 

I’ll be honest – I don’t know if I can do it.  Dark days lie ahead and light absent unless
we strike the match.  But I have to try –
pushing it all aside – looking at this year, stretched
out before me…anticipating its joys and secrets…putting last year behind me.

About jenniferpowell@introspectiveinsights.com

Hi! I'm Jennifer. I'm here in my little corner of southeastern Michigan observing relationships, family, and the world hoping to dig deeper and find the divine spark in it all. Thanks for visiting!

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