Introspective Insights

Introspective - adj: Examining sensory and perceptual experiences. Insight - n: The capacity to discern the true nature of a situation.

Tense Remorse

I’m trying to capture the tenseness I’ve been living under the last couple of weeks. It all started with a cold and extreme shoulder pain last Thursday. Add that to an over committed week and my attitude and behavior took an enormous drop. My family suffers when I allow myself to get wrapped up in my own pain and stress. I’m short with them, I ask too much, I become annoyed at the messy house and I constantly ask them to pick up this and do that. My standards for cleanliness reach fever pitch utopia. I am harsh and unwieldy, unrealistic in my expectations.

When it is quiet and I reflect back, I am convinced that I have done permanent damage. I’m sure I negatively affected them at the DNA level. My remorse is bottomless. I pray and I think about how to change. And that still, small voice reminds me that He loves me and I’m so thankful for His grace – this unmerited favor. And I know that only He can change me. When I look back I see how I am changing. I am thankful and I realize that I can start again tomorrow.

About jenniferpowell@introspectiveinsights.com

Hi! I'm Jennifer. I'm here in my little corner of southeastern Michigan observing relationships, family, and the world hoping to dig deeper and find the divine spark in it all. Thanks for visiting!

3 Replies

  1. Chris

    Wow! I just got all over my kids for their messy rooms today! I take pride in a tidy, clean Home. Yet get frustrated that I obsess over it. But when I see my kids letting their rooms look like the tazmanian devil took over, I stop and question how this happened? Do they not see how the rest of the house looks? It is tidy and neat. So are they rebelling or are they just being disrespectful of their property?

    1. Valid questions, Chris. I should text you pictures of my kids rooms right now – you would be scared! 😉 It’s more than just cleanliness for me on those bad days. For me it’s taking the stress and out of control feelings and trying to channel them into something I can control. Probably not the best therapy for them or me.

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