Introspective Insights

Introspective - adj: Examining sensory and perceptual experiences. Insight - n: The capacity to discern the true nature of a situation.

Crumbling Marriage

Sitting in a coffee shop next to them, I couldn’t help but overhear chunks of their conversation. He married, she not. He talked about how she holds grudges, how she gets frustrated when he gets coffee or lunch with co-workers, how she is not herself now that she is pregnant. All these things he should not be discussing with anyone other than his wife.

I’ve said it before, words matter. The words you say today are your actions tomorrow and I see divorce in this man’s future. I’m not normally this negative or fatalistic, but this is where the breakdown in marriage begins. When we confide in someone other than our spouse, when we continue to choose our own needs and wants over theirs, we start the “slow fade” as Casting Crowns so eloquently penned. No one makes one, big choice to end their marriage. It starts as a subconscious chipping away at our thoughts. Angry thoughts become careless words followed by actions. And then we don’t even know how we got there.

Let me be clear – when you talk negatively about your spouse to someone other than them, you begin to crumble the foundation of your marriage. Your words, put into the air, have a life of their own and the damage done may be irreversible.

I don’t know those people sitting next to me, but if I did I would speak into their lives. I would urge them to part ways, strongly advise the husband to return to his wife. To stand guard, to take back those words, redeem them. To remember why they got married, not for their own selfish interests, but for something bigger than themselves.


Hi! I'm Jennifer. I'm here in my little corner of southeastern Michigan observing relationships, family, and the world hoping to dig deeper and find the divine spark in it all. Thanks for visiting!

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